God decided to send a messenger and lo,
    John was born to the role
As soon as the child could speak, he made his purpose clear–
“Making way, making way”
And so he did just that, growing to manhood
    as he told everyone who’d listen
Of the marvel who was to come.

What you never hear is that John was actually a riot
Sure, he ended up with honey in his beard
    and callouses for shoes,
And downwind he was a calamity 'til he hit the river
But he roared with laughter born of certainty–
“He’s near, he’s coming, he’s here, get ready!”

Knowing the inevitable end, he found those locusts delicious
Knowing the inevitable beginning, he practiced
    preaching to passing lizards
And lit up when he saw people walking to him from the city.
“Let go, let the water wash your sins away!"
John was a joy when he knew you were willing,
    his voice careening over the sand.

And then Jesus came, and John wept
    while laughing in the Jordan,
Knowing his work was done and the way had been made–
“I'm nothing next to this one –
    I get you clean, he gets you into Heaven!"
Once the Lord was done talking, John chimed in–
“Son, I’ve known you since before we were born!"

Epilogue

You don’t hear much about how it really ended, either
He knew his would be a full stop
   as they marched him into the palace
Herod wouldn’t look him in the eye,
   the ladies skittered to the shadows

As he was dragged in chains from the banquet,
   John hurled a last raw-throated zinger:
“If you think I’m a pain in the neck,
   wait ‘til you meet the next guy!”

The door thundered shut behind him
   as a single camel hair flitted on a draft
And landed, unnoticed, on Salomé's half-eaten lamb chop.